Tiny habit

Day 12: Tending to the Tiny Habit

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“A brilliant idea is like a baby in a mother’s womb. You need to bring it out in the world, nurture it, feed it, grow it, till it becomes big enough to take care of itself. If you leave it at the stage of an idea itself, it is as good as non existent.” ― Manoj Arora, From the Rat Race to Financial Freedom

No Vacation for Parents

Accepting the fact that if a new habit is to survive, there is no way around the nuisance of daily practice. Later on, when well established, it can be done less frequently and with more depth. Side note: think of the fun ways of misinterpreting this statement. Anyway, pick your choice of youngling, human, dog or plant; in the beginning it is a full time job making sure it survives. Learning and thriving comes after survival is sure.

So if anyone (hello lazy self) is wrestling with the lack of progress after mere 12 days of practicing, remember this is the survival phase. Growth is dreadfully slow and can be only seen in hindsight, after you put in the hours.

That’s it for day 12. I showed up. I wrote. One more day where I didn’t kill this writing habit.

Day 8: Ploughing Through When the Motivation Wave Crashes

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“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.” – Thomas A. Edison

Stick-to-itiveness Struggle: Setting up a Financial System

Katinka is too loud and clear today for my taste.

“This is all a waste of time and you shall fail”.

“Do people really want to read about how you’re managing your finances? Oh look at me, I entered a number in a spreadsheet!!” – Eye roll.

The joke is on her though, even if I only write this one line, then it is a tiny step forward. I can see her wrinkling her cute button nose and shrugging her shoulder in a “Whatever!” manner.

Most pressing right now is establishing a solid financial system. Divorce is looming around the corner.

  1. Learn the current status
    • Current account balances
    • Mortage & utilities
    • Recurrent costs (subscriptions)
    • Investments
    • Insurance payments
    • Personal spending including food and clothing
    • Expected monthly income
    • Apartment market value
  2. Comb-through iteration:
    • Can any recurrent costs be reduced or eliminated?
  3. Setup a transaction table.
    • List the flow of money among accounts and the outside world.
  4. Check insurance status – are we reasonably insured?
    • List current insurances.
    • Contact for current conditions.
    • Check if the premium can be reduced.
  5. Divide income into reasonable budgets for:
    • Mortage & utilities
    • Recurrent costs (subscriptions)
    • Emergency funds for:
      • Income failure (3 – 6 months)
      • Large/expensive household items or appliances
      • Mobility repairs (car/bike)
      • Apartment repairs
    • Saving funds for:
      • Vacation(s)
      • Replacing household items/furniture
      • Children
    • Investments
    • Retirement
    • Insurance payments
    • Personal Bugets
      • Food
      • Clothing
      • Fun
  6. Future projection – where will the following be in 5 years, 10 years and 20 years:
    • Mortgage
    • Apartment value
    • Investments
    • Retirement plans
  7. Generate additional sources of income

I am still establishing tiny habits for item 1. The rest will come.

There you go Katinka. I wrote something and put a vote for a stick-to-itive me. I counter your eye roll with a silly toungue sticking out.

Day 7: Financial Tiny Habits

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“Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship.” – Benjamin Franklin

Getting Practical

Cyril Northcote Parkinson claimed that “work expands to fill the time allotted”. Work is not lone in this neat magic trick. Expenses expand to fill the budget alloted. Trouble really arises when the budget boundaries are ambiguous and unintentionally expand via credit, or through displacing other budgets.

One of the best habits to start once earning money, is to put the maximum sum affordable out of the way. The criteria here is that life should be enjoyable without this sum. Doing that helped me live below my means and save a good amount to eventually put a down-payment on an apartment but it did not curb my spending habits. I am still a consumer. I am still a habitual spender.

If I were to pick and choose my habits, I would want money to be spent either on necessities or on things that bring me joy. To put myself on that path, here are the tiny habit I implemented so far:

  • When I feel the impulse to spend money, I ask myself:
    • Is it a necessity?
    • Will it bring me joy two weeks from now?
    • Is it for an imaginary self, I want to be but I am not (eyeing clothes that don’t fit my lifestye)?
  • Every morning I drink two glasses of water; after I put down the second glass, I write on a post-it note one finance-related task to be done that day. A pad of post-it notes and a pen are readily availabe next to where I place my glass. Here are examples of small tasks I’ve accomplished over the last couple of weeks:
    • Print out a letter to cancel a redundant insurance.
    • List one regular cost in the finance sheet (a Google sheet to list my income and costs).
    • Lookup other regular costs in my bank account and add them to the sheet.
    • Ask for a new login to my online broker account (haven’t used it in years).
    • Enter the current balance for an account into the finance sheet.
    • Call cellphone provider to ask for a better deal (ended up saving 20€ per month).

Two weeks ago, I had no idea where I financially stand. Today I have, albeit humble, a finance sheet that lists my income, my expenses and my current balances. All by spending five minutes a day doing a small task.

Day 5: Motivation Wave on the Turn

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“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit is persistence in practice.” – Octavia Butler, Bloodchild and Other Stories

Not Feeling Like It

This is it. When starting any new habit, the motivation will turn as sure as death. The critic’s voice becomes loud and threatens to drown all other voices.

Critic: “This adds no value to anyone’s life.”

Critic: “There is no acutal subject here but meandering thoughts with no coherent design or aim.”

Critic: “No one will ever read this.”

Fighting and arguing the critic only serves to validate and encourage her. The internal fighting only leads to more agitation and eventual resignation. But the critic is not I. She is separate from me, and to enforce that idea, I will give her a body and a name. She’s an annoyingly pink little monster that follows me around and finds fault with all I do. Her face is so adorable it is hard to get angry at. The key to calming her down is to acknowledge her without necessarily agreeing. Her name is Katinka.

Me: “Thank you Katinka for your input. These statements are true but they are irrelevant in this situation.”

Me: “I am establishing a writing habit. Content and value will come later.”

Me: “Do you have any suggestions about establishing this habit?”

Katinka: silence.

Day 4: Cutting out the Discussion

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“Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in installments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day’s success.” – Isrealmore Ayivor

Procrastination and the Discussion that Allows It

Procrastination is nothing more than allowing myself an internal discussion, in which I evaluate my readiness or willingness to carry out a task. My current emotional state, along with the critic in my head, suddenly have a saying in what I undertake.

When it comes to brushing my teeth, going to work, working out, cooking dinner for my children, and other established habits, I simply do not have a discussion on whether to proceed. I just do it. There is a timeslot for these activities and when it opens up, I just proceed to the actual doing.

To cut out the discussion, my aim is to simply recognize that I am engaged in an internal debate. Once said debate is acknowledged, I just start with the smallest easiest first step I can take.

This is my master plan for part 2: becoming a master in establishing habits and systems.

Day 3: Tiny Habits from the Past

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Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.” – Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings

When Expectations are not in the Way

Expectations are in a way similar to money. View them as a tool needed to progress and develop, and they will not get in your way of a good life. Put them on a pedestal and you can forget about ever feeling peace and contentment.

Looking back, success in establishing a habit came easier when expectations were reasonable.

One area where I possessed very little talent compared to my peers is physical fittness. Yet among most of my friends, I work out more consistently and view exercising as a “fun” activity. When I started pursuing physical activity, based on years of being the slowest and the last to be picked in sports, my expecations of myself were very modest. I started slowly and consistently. I gave myself a schedule to keep, a reason to start and permission to stop once my energy tanked. Expectations were, though low, slightly above the current state I was in. That made all the difference.

Years later, I am still progressing and my expectations, at least when it comes to physical fitness, remain slightly ahead of my ability. They are not frightening. They don’t rob the joy from exercising, instead they keep me motivated to push myself just a bit more.

Tiny Habit

This is the tiny habit I started years ago and I still follow consistently. Everyday (either after walking up or at around 4 in the afternoon), I will workout (hiking, swimming or yoga). I almost always start but I always have permission to stop (guilt-free) if I feel tired. Celebration is built in; I feel uplifted and my brainfog clears.

Day 2: a Tiny Success

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“A hair here, a hair there, and soon you have a beard” – Lebanese volk saying.

Differentiating the Goal from the Habit

Comprehending that the effort to establish a habit does not bring one quickly to the goal is no easy task. Writing a couple of sentences each day will not make me a writer; it will, however, establish a writing habit. I remind myself of this fact every day and yet I seem to forget it again in the morning.

We were raised to desire great goals, not to establish good habits.

Tiny Habit Experiment: A Blog Post Every Day

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“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” – over-quoted but so very true Chinese saying.

The Path to Become a Writer – Day 1

Is to write. Following the advice of Dr. T. J. Fogg, I will start a tiny habit that hopefully will set me on the path to becoming a writer. The recipes are:

  • Every morning after I put my glass of water down, I will write on a post-it note my most important (private) task of the day and paste it on the kitchenshelf to see. I will celebrate by smiling.
  • After I paste my post-it on the shelf, I will sit down at my computer and write one tiny blog post. I will celebrate by playing a favorite music list (very quitely so as not to wake up my children).

Day 1 accomplished. Time effort: around 10 minutes. Mental effort: easy.