“Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard the rest.” – Marie Kondo

Wisdom from a Decluttering Book

If an older honourable looking man were to preach to keep only those items in your life that bring you joy, he would be a thought leader, a wise man. (Unfortunately?) Marie Kondo is a tiny and very cute Japanese woman with a face so adorable, one can never imagine it looking formidable and authorative. So she has become a decluttering guru with a Netflix show.

That is truly unfortunate. The idea that material possessions bring little happiness is as old as the written word; humans, however, despite this wisdom, have been accumulating frightening amounts of possessions. Few alive are able to follow Diogenes’s example and discard everything. The genius of Marie’s philosophy is giving permission to keep material posessions but only those that bring us joy.

The moment I asked myself her question, “Does this object bring me joy?”, all hell broke loose. I couldn’t help extrapolating and asking the same question regarding people in my life.

“Why is this person in my life, when they bring me no joy?”

“Why does this idea live on in my head, when it brings me no joy?”

The answer here is not to simply disgard objects, relationships and ideas for their lack of joy-bringing, but to deliberately decide to keep them, fully aware of your decision to do so. There are objects, people and ideas worth keeping around despite their joy-sucking nature. Better in reasonable doses though.

The biggest mistake here is confusing joy with pleasure. Pleasure is fleeting, a quick snapshot in time. Joy from a person or an object tends to persist and not fade.

A decluttering book set me on the path of ending a relationship that gave me occasional pleasure but no joy.